Aqua Fit? Hell Yeah!


I’ve been going to aqua zumba classes for a few weeks which is usually taught by a very camp man who wiggles his tushy like you wouldn’t believe and swaps hats for every dance. Aqua zumba is very funny with 2 main differences between this and regular ‘dry land’ zumba. Firstly nobody can see you messing up all the steps under the water and secondly it doesn’t matter if you wet yourself. Not that I do of course. *coughs*

Anyway, tonight we were told there would be a stand in instructor because the tushy wiggler was on holiday and that it would be plain old aqua fit rather than zumba because it seemed nobody with a suitably wiggly tushy was available. Imagine our surprise and joy when the ‘aqua supply teacher’ turned out to be a 20 something, semi-naked, 6 pack sporting, tattooed man. Oh my.

Having done aqua for many years and only ever had women instructors it was a big enough culture shock to be led by a male instructor for zumba but I was eased in by the tushy wiggling and the extreme camp-ness. This, however, was another prospect entirely. I was a little bit embarrassed gazing upon him in all his semi-naked glory and couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye so did the respectful thing and stared at his nipples throughout. Young maaaaaaaaaannnn…

I did consider staging a swooning/drowning incident in the hope he might dive in and attempt to give me the kiss of life but I feared he wouldn’t actually notice and I would be trampled to death by 20 menopausal women thrashing about in the water. I would have attempted to replicate the unfortunate incident I experienced recently on holiday where my flimsy aqua-inappropriate halter neck holiday swim suit ‘released’ my right breast into the water due to a particularly frenetic spotty dog move but I was now wearing my Speedo cozzie that is practically a polo neck (I wear it to make me look sporty. It fools nobody). I’m not actually sure my lily white spaniel ear of a boob floating on the water like a dead jelly fish would have helped my cause anyway.

Of course I have no real use for a 20 something, semi-naked, 6 pack sporting, tattooed man really but he did make for good eye candy for 45 minutes. I’m actually looking forward to the return of the tush wiggler so I can focus on trying to grapevine in the water rather than nipple watching. Sigh…

2 thoughts on “Aqua Fit? Hell Yeah!

  1. Pingback: Stolen Moments | Perfume & Trumps

  2. Pingback: Hello Buoys | Perfume & Trumps

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